No bills.
No PMS.
No break-ups.
And no jobs.
They get to bring endless joy to their owners...What a life
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Life or Death?
Is this world only about death? From entropy to dissipating friendships, it seems the randomness of loss is what this world is full of- Every new friend I gain, I lose one to the same degree...Nevertheless, thank God, for every gray day there is a sunny one of greater value that is sure to shine through the darkness and pain.
I wrote a song about a year ago. I felt then that, "no matter what I do I can't change what is done. I can look at the situation and choose to find the good or I could focus on the bad. Either way it is what it is...a circumstance."
"Change/Your Love"
I can't change the world,
But I can change how I see it.
I can't change my circumstance,
But I can smile despite it.
I can't change what you do,
But I can make what I do matter.
And I can't make you love me,
But I will love you regardless.
I can't know my future,
But I'll be damned if I forget my past.
I can't forget your face,
So I'll watch you in my distant place.
I can't forgive myself for losing you,
But I will find your love again,
Your love...Your love...your love.
I can't change the world,
But I can change how I treat it.
I can't stop my tears,
But I can let go of my fears.
This is where I find your love again,
your love...Your love...your love.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned
Is this you on a daily bases? Do you load your gun before you lock the door on your way out of the house every morning? I know what you're thinking..."Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life". I get it. But recently I'm coming to the realization that I anticipate a man failing me before we've even sat down for coffee. I'm not exaggerating. Right about the time, in the conversation, when a man starts asking me why I'm single, as mean's to set himself up for a compliment, I check out--"Single?!?! I'm single because men like you founder when it comes to flatteries!" Come on single ladies, you know it's true! We've all thought to ourselves, "It's protection. If I have low expectations I can't be disappointed". O, my scorned ones. If you never have expectations you will never be satisfied because whether or not you admit to having standards, EVERY woman does- hence why we are scorned over disappointed love. Anyway, I like to think am the sweetest, kindest, most funny, affectionate and loving person I know, but when it comes to men I am down right spiteful. I don't mean to be either. It just seems that every time I open my mouth, more loathsome feelings splatter all over the current "Mr. Right" and I scare him away before I can tell him "I love dogs too"- which subtextually means "I'm soft and cuddly". And I hate it. I want to be funny, ironic, affectionate and sweet. Lately, though, I am like a piece of gum that loses it's flavor 30 secs after the first chew. So how do I change this? I suppose I am waiting for some hero to change my mind. To be my "match" and not be thrown down by my unpleasantries. THAT'S NOT REALITY. Reality is that if I don't change I will never find my Hero. Besides, I want my Soulmate to protect me from the world, not have to protect himself from me. Since when is that a part of the game? The heart is such a funny thing- it always seem to hurt what it wants the most. At least in my case. No MORE! I can do this! I can. I can be the vulnerable, sweet girl who is every man's island. I just don't want to fall another moment for breakable hearts..... but I can't jump without believing he's out there--the one who won't break mine. Whoever you are...
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
New Years Resolutions: Is it too early?
1. Keep smiling- this year will be rough, but it will be worth it.
2. Perfect my not so perfect credit score.
3. Use cash when possible.
4. Graduating with a 4.0 is not impossible, but it starts NOW.
5. Remember every moment you have left with Jaime.
6. French, you have 12 months- GO!
7. Save money for Peace Corps.
8. Study.
9. Eat right.
10. Study.
11. Get 7 hours of sleep...most of the time.
12. Study.
13. Summer study abroad in Africa.
To Be Continued...........
2. Perfect my not so perfect credit score.
3. Use cash when possible.
4. Graduating with a 4.0 is not impossible, but it starts NOW.
5. Remember every moment you have left with Jaime.
6. French, you have 12 months- GO!
7. Save money for Peace Corps.
8. Study.
9. Eat right.
10. Study.
11. Get 7 hours of sleep...most of the time.
12. Study.
13. Summer study abroad in Africa.
To Be Continued...........
My DREAM Job
Peace Corps
Country Director, FP-0340-1 (Equivalent to GS-15)
ANNOUNCEMENT NUMBER: Country Director 09-03 APPLICATION DEADLINE: Help
JOB LOCATION: Peace Corps posts worldwide WORK SCHEDULE: Full Time
SALARY RANGE: $85,659.00-$137,430.00 OPEN DATE: 11/02/2009
TIME LIMIT: Term, not to exceed 30 Months WHO MAY APPLY: US citizens
NUMBER OF VACANCIES: 7
Still asking what you can do for your country?
The Peace Corps provides technical assistance to countries that request it by sharing America's most precious resources - its people. The Peace Corps has helped local communities in 139 countries build a better life through the work of its Volunteers. Since 1961, over 195,000 Volunteers have served. The Peace Corps is an independent U.S. government agency promoting world peace and friendship through the work of its Volunteers.
Peace Corps positions are normally filled for an initial 2 1/2 year period, but may be extended to a total 5 year limit. This keeps our workplace vibrant and our ideas fresh.
The Peace Corps Country Director is responsible for managing and directing all aspects of the Peace Corps program in the country of assignment. The Country Director is:
* Responsible for supporting 50 to 250 Volunteers as they live and work in a country, often under conditions of hardship, lend their skills and energy to meet community needs and promote a better understanding between the host country people and Americans.
* The senior manager of a staff of 15 to 40 employees (including two to three Americans) and the senior administrator of an annual budget ranging from $1 million to $4 million.
* The senior Peace Corps representative in the country of assignment.
* Responsible for analyzing and implementing all Peace Corps programming and projects.
* The personification of the Peace Corps' commitment to improving world understanding and peace through people-to-people contact.
DUTIES:
Program Direction and Leadership
With host country partnering organizations, develops a vision for the country program and a plan for achieving the vision. Takes the leadership role in preparing cooperating agreements between Peace Corps and host country partner agencies. These agreements should include a description of the project objectives, an estimate of the number of Volunteers to be assigned to the project, the responsibilities of the Peace Corps and the partner ministry or agency, and the rights of the partners within the relationship. In collaboration with staff, devises a system that defines project development and management responsibilities.
Volunteer Support
Approves and facilitates Volunteer projects and programming to assure Volunteer productivity and host country support. This requires analyzing and understanding host country needs and viability of the project; evaluating Volunteer assignments, sites, and counterparts; and managing and supporting associate Peace Corps directors who are directly responsible for training and programming support.
Establishes relationships with trainees and Volunteers that foster an understanding of the challenges of Peace Corps service; invites an open and respectful dialog between Volunteers and staff; evokes enthusiasm and support for the Peace Corps mission and the host country people and culture; instills a work ethic, cultural sensitivity, and sense of camaraderie among Volunteers.
Establishes systems to ensure the personal health, safety, and security of Volunteers. This requires developing, testing, and enforcing policies and procedures; ensuring the delivery of training to Volunteers and staff; collaborating with the U.S. embassy and host government as appropriate; anticipating, preventing, and managing crises ranging from sexual assaults and natural disasters to civil unrest and emergency evacuations.
Ensures that medical, programmatic, training, and administrative staff can identify and are equipped to provide appropriate support to Volunteers dealing with cross-cultural adjustment issues and the challenges in working with host country counterparts/ supervisors, host families, and colleagues, and of living in a foreign country.
Management and Administrative
Manages all Peace Corps staff members and contract personnel in country of assignment. This includes hiring, training, supervising, promoting, and monitoring employees in a cross-cultural setting, where local practices and law may be in conflict with U.S. government regulations, American work standards, or the practical needs of managing an office and a program.
Administers and oversees financial management, procurement, contract negotiation, disbursement, property control, and administrative services for the Peace Corps in the country of assignment. Ensures compliance with Peace Corps policy, U.S. federal government regulations, and local law. Assures timely submission of annual financial reports, prepares and submits other budget data to headquarters as requested, and reviews fiscal expenditures and imprest fund activities.
Representation
Sets the tone and character of the Peace Corps program to the country at large and serves as leader, liaison, role model, and representative for all Volunteers, trainees, and staff.
Establishes and maintains relationships with host country government officials and local authorities, representatives of non-governmental organizations (NGOs), and other persons of influence in the country’s developmental efforts; and works with these individuals and organizations to enhance and promote the Peace Corps programs.
Establishes and maintains relationships with the chief of mission, regional security office, and others within the U.S. mission that foster the cooperation and coordination necessary to achieve Peace Corps’ goals and ensure the safety of Volunteers, but maintains maximum independence.
Country Director, FP-0340-1 (Equivalent to GS-15)
ANNOUNCEMENT NUMBER: Country Director 09-03 APPLICATION DEADLINE: Help
JOB LOCATION: Peace Corps posts worldwide WORK SCHEDULE: Full Time
SALARY RANGE: $85,659.00-$137,430.00 OPEN DATE: 11/02/2009
TIME LIMIT: Term, not to exceed 30 Months WHO MAY APPLY: US citizens
NUMBER OF VACANCIES: 7
Still asking what you can do for your country?
The Peace Corps provides technical assistance to countries that request it by sharing America's most precious resources - its people. The Peace Corps has helped local communities in 139 countries build a better life through the work of its Volunteers. Since 1961, over 195,000 Volunteers have served. The Peace Corps is an independent U.S. government agency promoting world peace and friendship through the work of its Volunteers.
Peace Corps positions are normally filled for an initial 2 1/2 year period, but may be extended to a total 5 year limit. This keeps our workplace vibrant and our ideas fresh.
The Peace Corps Country Director is responsible for managing and directing all aspects of the Peace Corps program in the country of assignment. The Country Director is:
* Responsible for supporting 50 to 250 Volunteers as they live and work in a country, often under conditions of hardship, lend their skills and energy to meet community needs and promote a better understanding between the host country people and Americans.
* The senior manager of a staff of 15 to 40 employees (including two to three Americans) and the senior administrator of an annual budget ranging from $1 million to $4 million.
* The senior Peace Corps representative in the country of assignment.
* Responsible for analyzing and implementing all Peace Corps programming and projects.
* The personification of the Peace Corps' commitment to improving world understanding and peace through people-to-people contact.
DUTIES:
Program Direction and Leadership
With host country partnering organizations, develops a vision for the country program and a plan for achieving the vision. Takes the leadership role in preparing cooperating agreements between Peace Corps and host country partner agencies. These agreements should include a description of the project objectives, an estimate of the number of Volunteers to be assigned to the project, the responsibilities of the Peace Corps and the partner ministry or agency, and the rights of the partners within the relationship. In collaboration with staff, devises a system that defines project development and management responsibilities.
Volunteer Support
Approves and facilitates Volunteer projects and programming to assure Volunteer productivity and host country support. This requires analyzing and understanding host country needs and viability of the project; evaluating Volunteer assignments, sites, and counterparts; and managing and supporting associate Peace Corps directors who are directly responsible for training and programming support.
Establishes relationships with trainees and Volunteers that foster an understanding of the challenges of Peace Corps service; invites an open and respectful dialog between Volunteers and staff; evokes enthusiasm and support for the Peace Corps mission and the host country people and culture; instills a work ethic, cultural sensitivity, and sense of camaraderie among Volunteers.
Establishes systems to ensure the personal health, safety, and security of Volunteers. This requires developing, testing, and enforcing policies and procedures; ensuring the delivery of training to Volunteers and staff; collaborating with the U.S. embassy and host government as appropriate; anticipating, preventing, and managing crises ranging from sexual assaults and natural disasters to civil unrest and emergency evacuations.
Ensures that medical, programmatic, training, and administrative staff can identify and are equipped to provide appropriate support to Volunteers dealing with cross-cultural adjustment issues and the challenges in working with host country counterparts/ supervisors, host families, and colleagues, and of living in a foreign country.
Management and Administrative
Manages all Peace Corps staff members and contract personnel in country of assignment. This includes hiring, training, supervising, promoting, and monitoring employees in a cross-cultural setting, where local practices and law may be in conflict with U.S. government regulations, American work standards, or the practical needs of managing an office and a program.
Administers and oversees financial management, procurement, contract negotiation, disbursement, property control, and administrative services for the Peace Corps in the country of assignment. Ensures compliance with Peace Corps policy, U.S. federal government regulations, and local law. Assures timely submission of annual financial reports, prepares and submits other budget data to headquarters as requested, and reviews fiscal expenditures and imprest fund activities.
Representation
Sets the tone and character of the Peace Corps program to the country at large and serves as leader, liaison, role model, and representative for all Volunteers, trainees, and staff.
Establishes and maintains relationships with host country government officials and local authorities, representatives of non-governmental organizations (NGOs), and other persons of influence in the country’s developmental efforts; and works with these individuals and organizations to enhance and promote the Peace Corps programs.
Establishes and maintains relationships with the chief of mission, regional security office, and others within the U.S. mission that foster the cooperation and coordination necessary to achieve Peace Corps’ goals and ensure the safety of Volunteers, but maintains maximum independence.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Goal #ooooo1
His name is Mr. Knightly....someday : )
I've been in love with Whippets for-e-verrr...those and Lemon Beagles....I think it's because I'm an equestrian hunter jumper. Anyway, when I'm a bit more settled in life Mr. Knightly will be mine
Friday, December 11, 2009
Mr. Wickham
"Usually, the thing that is most special about the people we cling to is their indifference to our feelings. At some level we believe that if we can get this cold-hearted, self-absorbed "cool" person to return our devotion, then we will have proven to ourselves that we really are lovable." - random person's blog.
That's ridiculous! If that's true then why do I always fall for the out-going flirt who is anxiously waiting to sweep me off my feet--complete with broom and dust-pan? Maybe at one time I would have believed that "love is really just a game with myself", but not after this past year. Even Mr. Wickham isn't indifferent to my feelings. On the contrary. They are his entire concern. How he can pick them apart, analyzing their every fragile movement studying how to precisely respond right before he walks away. He doesn't run. He has no reason to. He is not guilty. In fact, he is completely unaware that he has done anything so meaningless or hurtful. He is attentive, well-spoken, charming and those eyes. Did I mention charming? He defined the word "Hope": Hanging On to Pretty Evils. And wrote the by-laws for unrequited love. He smells good and has that ever so progressive yet classic fashion sense. He says exactly what he should at the perfect moment. He spouts life goals that only I complete. I am everything every great art aficionado, such as he, loves to be fascinated by.....Then I wake up and realize "Wait! It's been almost two weeks since I've allowed myself to absorb his venom. Why haven't I heard from him"? I hardly think he's sitting at home pining over our last meeting. Thankfully, Lizzy inevitably rids herself of him-- all the while falling madly in love with Mr. Darcy.
What is this blog about?
Girl's....if he's too good to be true--his stuffing is lies and his charms are made up of fog. When the lights are bright you can't see what's not there, and when the wind blows he disappears. 2010- Cheers to steering clear of sweet smelling fog!
“Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his MAKING friends--whether he may be equally capable of RETAINING them, is less certain.” ~Mr. Darcy
Thursday, December 10, 2009
~Whatever it Takes~
I may dream the dreams...but can I commit to making sure when God says go, I'll go? Will I surrender all to do whatever it takes to see those dreams come true? It feels good to think about...it even sounds good. But when push comes to shove, will I?
Today has been a...rough day. That's putting it mildly- obstacle after obstacle, after obstacle! I've been tested financially, physically and emotionally all in one day. My integrity has been brutally questioned even...but my faith refuses to waiver. I asked to be molded- God's working on the big chunks I guess.
Tomorrow is the last day of this semester. WOOT! Everything on this earth and beyond has to be against me until then. I will finish and I WILL enjoy my Christmas break. School, work, life challenges, nothing will stop me from remembering what season this is--excuse me, who's season this is. I forget to talk about Christmas. I mean, I talk about it.."Have you started shopping yet?", "Have you put up a tree yet?", "Haha, I know! Let's decorate the palm tree!", "I need to learn the words to that carol too"...I conversate about Christmas things hourly, but how often I forget to actually talk about Christmas. It's not completely surprising though. In a society when I take a deep breath after saying "Merry Christmas", hoping I haven't said it to someone who hates the season, it's no wonder I don't think about what it is that's so offending. I'm embarrassed that when I sit here writing this, I don't know what exactly to say about it. I know the story. But what, this season, should I be learning about Christ? What is Christmas, anyway? I've thought a lot about Mary to be honest. I imagine that no matter how big of a problem the Enemy thinks I am, I'm not carrying the Son of God. lol. And any heat I'm feeling is like a bubble bath compared to what Mary must have faced those long 9 months. Then God softly reminds me that He never gives us more than we could handle-- not Mary...not me.
O.k...whatever it takes Lord
<3 maria
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Dare to Dream
This blog is dedicated to my best friend Jaime...
I woke up this morning singing Over the Rainbow. I kept repeating to myself the lyric, "And the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true". I will admit I am a dreamer. It's an oh so comfortable, limitless and pretty place to be. While most of us have fears, I carry one, that until now, I never thought I would eradicate. My fear of reality.
Being a child is one of life's invaluable experiences. When I think about it- I had no great responsibilities. I had certain tasks or rules- brush your teeth Maria, make your bed --or in my case not make my bed--set the table for dinner, clean your room--or in my case, again, not clean my room-- don't fight with your brother and always greet daddy with a hug when he gets home from work. But most of the time, I kept to my room--not cleaning--dreaming...dreaming about what I would be like when I grew up. "What am I going to wear to Windsor Castle when Prince William takes me to meet the Queen?" I would endlessly wonder about all the things I was going to do and the places I would go.
I am fast approaching 24 years of age--gasps--and I'm still dreaming. But for about the last four years I have had the "Omg! what am I going to do with my life?" attitude. [It's dangerous how sometimes a girl may allow a man to define herself and future so much that she loses all concept of who she is in Christ.] I hit a breaking point when I turned 20. I woke up one day and thought to myself, "Ok, I'm single and an adult. Now what?" I've been on a rough road ever since. I've lived half-way around the world. I've had two jobs. I've changed my major three times. I've recommitted my life to Christ, walked away, recommitted, rejected and then recommitted yet again. I've loved myself, hated myself, loved other people then hated them. I've been up and down and all around and over the mountain ten times. What has been my saving grace? What has brought stillness to my restless heart? Who has calmed my angry spirits and loved me despite my rejection? What has eradicated my fear? My relationship to God yes- but more specifically, His word.
Suddenly, I know what it's like to wander in a desert for a very long time--ok not 40 yrs, but close enough. I have been searching for what I didn't know...I've been aimlessly running towards nothing. I've put on many costumes and played many roles- hoping that I would find myself in one of them. I desperately wanted to know who I was and why I was here. Should I be a singer? Should I be a writer? Should I be a missionary? Will I forever be invisible? The hardest part about my road to redemption was comprehending the fact that I have nothing to do with defining myself--No matter how many shades of color I make my hair, how many different guys I date or how many times I change my facebook profile--God alone defines me. I know that every dream I have ever dreamt and every passion I have ever had has been molded into my heart by God. I don't have to "make" them come true. I have to dare to dream what God can do with my life. I have to see the possibility of how God can change the world through me--and when I can't do that I have faith in His word.
Know who you are today. Let God take care of tomorrow~
<3 maria
I woke up this morning singing Over the Rainbow. I kept repeating to myself the lyric, "And the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true". I will admit I am a dreamer. It's an oh so comfortable, limitless and pretty place to be. While most of us have fears, I carry one, that until now, I never thought I would eradicate. My fear of reality.
Being a child is one of life's invaluable experiences. When I think about it- I had no great responsibilities. I had certain tasks or rules- brush your teeth Maria, make your bed --or in my case not make my bed--set the table for dinner, clean your room--or in my case, again, not clean my room-- don't fight with your brother and always greet daddy with a hug when he gets home from work. But most of the time, I kept to my room--not cleaning--dreaming...dreaming about what I would be like when I grew up. "What am I going to wear to Windsor Castle when Prince William takes me to meet the Queen?" I would endlessly wonder about all the things I was going to do and the places I would go.
I am fast approaching 24 years of age--gasps--and I'm still dreaming. But for about the last four years I have had the "Omg! what am I going to do with my life?" attitude. [It's dangerous how sometimes a girl may allow a man to define herself and future so much that she loses all concept of who she is in Christ.] I hit a breaking point when I turned 20. I woke up one day and thought to myself, "Ok, I'm single and an adult. Now what?" I've been on a rough road ever since. I've lived half-way around the world. I've had two jobs. I've changed my major three times. I've recommitted my life to Christ, walked away, recommitted, rejected and then recommitted yet again. I've loved myself, hated myself, loved other people then hated them. I've been up and down and all around and over the mountain ten times. What has been my saving grace? What has brought stillness to my restless heart? Who has calmed my angry spirits and loved me despite my rejection? What has eradicated my fear? My relationship to God yes- but more specifically, His word.
Suddenly, I know what it's like to wander in a desert for a very long time--ok not 40 yrs, but close enough. I have been searching for what I didn't know...I've been aimlessly running towards nothing. I've put on many costumes and played many roles- hoping that I would find myself in one of them. I desperately wanted to know who I was and why I was here. Should I be a singer? Should I be a writer? Should I be a missionary? Will I forever be invisible? The hardest part about my road to redemption was comprehending the fact that I have nothing to do with defining myself--No matter how many shades of color I make my hair, how many different guys I date or how many times I change my facebook profile--God alone defines me. I know that every dream I have ever dreamt and every passion I have ever had has been molded into my heart by God. I don't have to "make" them come true. I have to dare to dream what God can do with my life. I have to see the possibility of how God can change the world through me--and when I can't do that I have faith in His word.
Three seemingly simple questions. Arriving at their answers? Extremely challenging!"Without a vision the people perish Prov. 29:18"The answer is vision:
Who do you see yourself as? Right now, I am a beautiful Organizational Leadership major at Robert Morris University. I'm concentrating in Non-profit Management and minoring in International Business.
Where do you see yourself going? I'm about to interview for a position with the YMCA to become a student member of their board- where I will shadow a mentor and gain vital information on how to run a non-profit and establish positive change within my community.
What are you going to do today? Spend time with God. Rescue my distraught bride's wedding shoes from the post office. Go to work. Then study for my last final of the semester.
Know who you are today. Let God take care of tomorrow~
<3 maria
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
