Thursday, December 10, 2009

~Whatever it Takes~

I may dream the dreams...but can I commit to making sure when God says go, I'll go? Will I surrender all to do whatever it takes to see those dreams come true? It feels good to think about...it even sounds good. But when push comes to shove, will I?

Today has been a...rough day. That's putting it mildly- obstacle after obstacle, after obstacle! I've been tested financially, physically and emotionally all in one day. My integrity has been brutally questioned even...but my faith refuses to waiver. I asked to be molded- God's working on the big chunks I guess.

Tomorrow is the last day of this semester. WOOT! Everything on this earth and beyond has to be against me until then. I will finish and I WILL enjoy my Christmas break. School, work, life challenges, nothing will stop me from remembering what season this is--excuse me, who's season this is. I forget to talk about Christmas. I mean, I talk about it.."Have you started shopping yet?", "Have you put up a tree yet?", "Haha, I know! Let's decorate the palm tree!", "I need to learn the words to that carol too"...I conversate about Christmas things hourly, but how often I forget to actually talk about Christmas. It's not completely surprising though. In a society when I take a deep breath after saying "Merry Christmas", hoping I haven't said it to someone who hates the season, it's no wonder I don't think about what it is that's so offending. I'm embarrassed that when I sit here writing this, I don't know what exactly to say about it. I know the story. But what, this season, should I be learning about Christ? What is Christmas, anyway? I've thought a lot about Mary to be honest. I imagine that no matter how big of a problem the Enemy thinks I am, I'm not carrying the Son of God. lol. And any heat I'm feeling is like a bubble bath compared to what Mary must have faced those long 9 months. Then God softly reminds me that He never gives us more than we could handle-- not Mary...not me.

O.k...whatever it takes Lord

<3 maria

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