Is this you on a daily bases? Do you load your gun before you lock the door on your way out of the house every morning? I know what you're thinking..."Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life". I get it. But recently I'm coming to the realization that I anticipate a man failing me before we've even sat down for coffee. I'm not exaggerating. Right about the time, in the conversation, when a man starts asking me why I'm single, as mean's to set himself up for a compliment, I check out--"Single?!?! I'm single because men like you founder when it comes to flatteries!" Come on single ladies, you know it's true! We've all thought to ourselves, "It's protection. If I have low expectations I can't be disappointed". O, my scorned ones. If you never have expectations you will never be satisfied because whether or not you admit to having standards, EVERY woman does- hence why we are scorned over disappointed love. Anyway, I like to think am the sweetest, kindest, most funny, affectionate and loving person I know, but when it comes to men I am down right spiteful. I don't mean to be either. It just seems that every time I open my mouth, more loathsome feelings splatter all over the current "Mr. Right" and I scare him away before I can tell him "I love dogs too"- which subtextually means "I'm soft and cuddly". And I hate it. I want to be funny, ironic, affectionate and sweet. Lately, though, I am like a piece of gum that loses it's flavor 30 secs after the first chew. So how do I change this? I suppose I am waiting for some hero to change my mind. To be my "match" and not be thrown down by my unpleasantries. THAT'S NOT REALITY. Reality is that if I don't change I will never find my Hero. Besides, I want my Soulmate to protect me from the world, not have to protect himself from me. Since when is that a part of the game? The heart is such a funny thing- it always seem to hurt what it wants the most. At least in my case. No MORE! I can do this! I can. I can be the vulnerable, sweet girl who is every man's island. I just don't want to fall another moment for breakable hearts..... but I can't jump without believing he's out there--the one who won't break mine. Whoever you are...
The reality is: When you least expect it, true love finds you, you don't find it....
ReplyDeleteHE who finds a wife, finds what is good.
You are pretty much off the hook! Remember, what men find most attractive is a woman who knows who she is, and knows what she wants!
LOVE YOU!
(fyi I found this blog via Facebook. We are Facebook friends.)
ReplyDeleteI have to deal with the same issue (of being single) myself.
Enjoy your time of singleness.
Like the above person said, it happens in God's time.